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RIYADH – In Saudi Arabia’s rigid past, religious police once swooped down on rose sellers and anyone peddling red paraphernalia around Valentine’s Day, but now a more open — albeit risky — dating culture is taking root. Pursuing relationships outside of marriage in the conservative Islamic kingdom once amounted to a death wish, and would-be Romeos resorted to pressing phone numbers up against their car window in hope of making contact with women. Now a sweeping liberalisation drive — which has rendered the religious police toothless and allowed gender mixing like never before — has made it easier for young couples to meet in cafes and restaurants.

Well-heeled millennials also hunt for romantic liaisons via Twitter and Snapchat, and apps such as Swarm — designed to log places the user visits but often repurposed to look for dates. Pre-marital relationships remain a cultural minefield though in a country steeped in Islamic tradition and where matchmaking is typically overseen by family elders, forcing couples to keep unsanctioned romance under wraps.

Covert dating operations illustrate how Saudi Arabia’s mainly young population is often compelled to lead dual lives in the pursuit of social liberties that may outstrip the kingdom’s capacity for change. Samirah, a year-old finance executive in the Saudi capital, felt a flutter of nerves when her boyfriend’s mother stumbled upon a handwritten birthday card and gift she gave him — and that risked her own family finding out. In a society where family honour is often tied to female chastity, the revelation would have provoked fury from her family and jeopardised their months-long courtship that began through common friends.

Her boyfriend managed to deflect his mother, but the scare prompted the young couple yearning for more freedom to plan a forbidden rendezvous — a long weekend in Dubai disguised as a business trip. In scenes unimaginable until just two years ago, women have been seen swaying on the shoulders of men at music concerts as the kingdom tears down the walls of sex segregation.

But while the religious police have stepped back, the internal policing within Saudi families and society at large has not stopped, highlighting the limits of a Western-style liberalisation drive in a deeply conservative country. A Saudi woman in her late 20s told AFP she suspected her “control freak” brother, who works in the military, had deployed official spyware to track whether she was meeting men. Just because you are willing to go on a date does not mean you have a loose character.

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These signifiers are products of the last ten years, smartphones and virtual social networking, and cultural icons like Bob Marley and Kim Kardashian. But in Saudi Arabia, an isolated Wahhabist paradise — and the largest and wealthiest country in the Middle East — these abbreviative signs are handy rhetorical devices for tapping into an unrestrained subculture while under the seemingly inescapable gaze of government censors.

But then again, most products of modern life, particularly American culture, are. In the modern nation-state — be it liberal or Wahhabist — law-making is myth-making, and legal jargon, enforced by lashes and the death penalty, is fodder for the Saudi government, whose interests lie in maintaining the integrity and validity of the national imaginary.

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Dating in Saudi Arabia is challenging, but not impossible, and this helpful article will walk you through the basics of how to go about it discreetly. Dating in Saudi Arabia is a secretive affair and looking for romance in this highly conservative Kingdom is difficult, but not impossible. This helpful article will walk you through the basics of how people meet, socialize, and date in Saudi Arabia.

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Register for free today and begin your quest! The first and most important thing that expats need to know is that Saudis do not date. Once it is time for a person to get married, their parents will decide on an appropriate match and, depending on how traditional the family is, that person may have the final say on the matter. Furthermore, it is considered both immoral and illegal for two people who are unrelated and unmarried to spend time together; therefore, if you are looking for someone to be more-than-friends with, you will need to be both careful and creative.

Although the Kingdom is opening up in many ways — for example allowing music, movies, and theaters, which enables more public mixing than before — dating, sex, and romance remain taboo. Despite the cultural limitations, it is not impossible to meet new people in Saudi Arabia. In fact, you have a few options if you are on the lookout for romance.

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